Community for dummies – Normal

I have found a common thread. It is an interesting issue for everyone to consider. The question is simple. The answer maybe be a little less simple if you sit down and think about it for a while. The question is: What is normal?

This morning I walked alone to the garden, where everyone had gone to, to have breakfast. And during this walk I realized how different from “normal” my days look like here. There are always people around. How different from “normal” the environment looks. I saw the mountains and the sea in the distance. How different from “normal” the language around me is. I hear at least three languages a day. How different from “normal” the rhythm is. Lunch at 4:45 pm is perfectly fine here. And of course the question followed; but what then is normal?

What I was wondering was, who decides what is normal? Is it normal if most people do a certain thing a certain way? And is, what is normal, ever questioned?

I think we have made some “abnormal” choices in our lives. Especially during our time now as a family with children. The choices we made were always close to our hearts but sometimes miles away from what was seen as “normal”. A few examples of this are prolonged breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not vaccinating, baby-led weaning, homeschooling, but also the choice that only my husband is the earner in the house and I am at home with the children. That we don’t want a big car in front of our enormous villa, but that we prefer less luxury and more time together. All things so normal for us (and for a lot of others as well), but so abnormal for others. I like it when I’m not judged on my way of normal but than again, i also judge..

I think normal always changes. When I think about what I used to think was normal and what I think is normal now, I come to a completely different conclusion. The lesson I want to learn from this is that I should try harder not to judge someone else’s “normal”. I think that the judgement of someone else always comes from a place of misunderstanding, and at a deeper level perhaps mainly from fear.

If we figure out a number of basic principles, such as not doing harm to others, in the ideal world every person should be allowed to take his or her space to find his or her own normal without being judged by someone else.

More connection starts with an open mind and an open heart. And oh, how difficult that is sometimes. Because how easily we have already made up our mind. I always laugh at myself when my preconceived conclusion turns out to be anything but the truth. It happens a lot…

Doing things differently here also goes back to basics. Yes, water comes from the tap here and yes you can drink it. But you taste a little chlorine. So we get fresh water from the spring about a 10 minute walk away.

Maybe normal is a concept that doesn’t exist. Because no place on earth is the same, and every place has its own normal. No family is the same and every family has its own normal. And we still like the normal of FamiliaFeliz at the moment so we’re just expanding our own 🙂