In connection with the open day on September 21st, we sent Gwen and Ben’s family a few questions. We suspect that the answers could be helpful for people who are interested in our small community. We are publishing it unabridged and unedited. We are including a few pictures that reflect the developments of the last few weeks. If you like to join a ZOOM video Chat on 15 September at 7 pm, use this link.
Q: You have already visited FamiliaFeliz several times. This was preceded by a few emails and video calls. When you look back, where were the most similarities between expectations and reality as you found them at FamiliaFeliz?
A: Where my expectation matched reality was with you Juan. I got to know you as a calm grounded man, who was not overly enthusiastic but very helpful and thoughtful. Someone who listens to you, someone with a strong vision, someone with whom I felt welcome. And I found this same man when we first arrived in Cervera del Maestre. We were seen and heard and introduced to everyone we met and we felt welcome.
Q: Where were the biggest differences between expectations and reality as you found them at FamiliaFeliz?
A: I think some differences between expectations and reality came from the fact that we didn’t really understand how this community worked. In a very practical sense, for example, how the place was physically put together. Somehow I expected a large location with a garden around it. This expectation came from photos that I could find online and my own imagination. Also the number of people in and around the community. I had no idea what that would look like and made up my own story about it. And perhaps the biggest difference was that I expected that once we arrived in Cervera, a lot of things would “disappoint” or at least not turn out as well as I had expected. And the opposite was true. Doors opened that I had not even thought would be there. Possibilities for housing, new people that we met who also had very interesting stories, facilities in and around Cervera. Everything turned out even better than expected.
Q: You are a big family, so everyone has their own preferences. In your opinion, what is a particular challenge for a family compared to a couple or a single person, apart from the fact that many have many different motives and wishes?
A: The challenge that comes with a family compared to a single person or a couple I think is that we have to take each other into account a lot. Our priority is our children. That makes things go slower and with a bit more structure. Spontaneity is possible, but not without limits.
Q: You had also prepared for these visits. What were very useful preparations and what turned out to be less useful or less sensible?
A: What was a very useful preparation was to order a device for the toll roads. That way we didn’t have to stop at the toll roads and the children weren’t disturbed in their sleep. Knowing the language a little bit was also a good preparation. Despite the fact that most people speak English, it is still useful to be a little familiar with Spanish. Leaving in the evening and driving through the night was a practical choice with the children that worked out very well. What was less necessary was to think in advance about what we were going to do. The days filled up naturally and in the end, certainly the first visit, little came of our plans. Which was fine by the way because we did so many nice things.
Q: What did you think about living communities in general beforehand and what do you think about them now based on your experience?
A: I think what I thought I knew about living communities, and what is true in some cases, is that people do everything together. Work, eat, live. In FamiliaFeliz it is a bit different. It is all possible, but it is optional.
Q: What do you think is particularly good and particularly bad about FamiliaFeliz?
A: Good: That you get the opportunity, the time and the space to find out what you want to do with your life. The accessibility of it all. You don’t have to come with a bag of money or an abundance of promises. It is simply enough to be who you are. The network around FamiliaFeliz is large and enormously valuable. They think with you, not decide for you.
A: Bad: It does not grow. The freedom that people get in FamiliaFeliz seems to make them passers-by. The real connection seems temporary. As a result, there sometimes seems to be a lack of trust and willingness to do things for each other.
Q: If you imagine that you were joining our community now, which tendencies, projects and developments would you want to slow down and which would you want to strengthen?
A: Anything that helps in a self-sufficient life like the vegetable garden would be something I would like to participate in. This includes the projects that generate some money. There are actually no projects going on now that I do not find valuable. Perhaps not completely executed as I would do but that does not mean that they cannot have value as a project in itself.
Q: What would the profile of a family look like that you would like to invite to FamiliaFeliz?
A: An open mind when it comes to what’s happening in the world. A willingness to learn and grow together as both a person and a community. People who are independent, don’t expect dependency or show demanding behavior. Have a strong sense of responsibility. And children the age of ours would be an added bonus 🙂
Q: Which people do you think are still needed in FamiliaFeliz and why?
A: I think it would be really cool if more people joined with the intention to stay. That we would become a stable group of people who live together as a family with a diversity of ages. Especially then I see a wonderful alternative to the existing systems in which people now live.
Q: What would be your most important project (beyond family and relationships) that you would implement if you were to join this community?
A: The vegetable garden. I see so much value in providing for the primary necessities of life. And food brings people together. Both in the garden and at the kitchen table.
Q: What would be indicators of a person that you think would speak FOR joining such a community?
A: Independence
Responsibility
Helpful
Flexible
Open minded
Strong personality
Q: What would be indicators of a person that you think would speak AGAINST joining such a community?
A: Dependency
Sitting in the role of victim
Placing many expectations on others
Demanding behavior
Narrow minded
Q: We will be holding an open doors day shortly, and I’m sure you would love to be in the garden that day! What do you hope for from the people who come to visit (members and speakers of other communities and projects in Valencia)?
A: That they see and understand the potential and power of FamiliaFeliz and that they see a place for themselves from which they can take a new step in a fulfilling life.
Q: What is your message to those who will come to see FamiliaFeliz on September 21, 2024 and in the period after that?
A: I hope you find what you are looking for in FamiliaFeliz. And I hope that the experience is, like ours, a joyful and energy-boosting experience!